what if you asked for help (thank you!) - September 2024

I'm working on a way of connecting some things that have happened in the past couple of weeks but it's eluding me right now. What I can say is, thank you all for getting me through this week. Seeing negative numbers in my accounts, especially when I have things to do, undoes me in ways I'd rather avoid. (Wasn't that a fancy way of saying that "shit keeps me fucked up in ways I'm never sure I can come back from"? I can be classy too.)

Asking for help is difficult, especially when you know you don't have a way to pay people back in the way that you'd like. Owing people even in small ways has been dangerous for me, so it....it's a lot trying to do that here. Thank y'all for being generous and for reminding me that we take care of one another cause the gov't sure as shit don't.

Anyways! Gonna try a new thing that I practiced when having a lil meltdown earlier and share things that I've liked instead of things I've done so there's less focus on productivity and more on just like experiencing the world and shit. Here we go.

Ten things I've liked this week: 

1. Finch App

My friend introduced me to this app and it has CHANGED the game for me. Especially since, for some reason, the day doesn't end at midnight, I've been able to complete almost all of my goals! And there's no like evil owl duo whomp whomp noise whenever I mess something up or have to snooze a goal til later. My little bird and I are going on lil adventures and also encouraging my friends as they go along theirs' and it's very lovely.

2. TTRPGs For Accessible Gaming Charity Bundle (ends in 23 days!)

I LOVE me a bundle and I truly believe bringing more of something into your life will show the universe that you're ready to get into it, so! Get 314 items FOR TEN DOLLARS and support a good cause!

3. Treachery in Beat Down City

I first learned about Treachery in Beatdown City from Game Devs of Color (you can watch the Postmortem Interview here!). This past week, I had a manic angry day and needed to punch something and since I'm trying to do that Healthily I looked to first, make my own video game and then second, realized that's not going to help me in the present moment and went to see what games I have. Playing was fun and helped me calm down a bit, move towards better anger management skills instead. The story is cool and I'm excited to keep playing!

You can buy on Steam, Switch, and XBOX

4. Thirsty Sword Lesbians (if you bought the Bundle for Ukraine or TTRPGs for Trans Rights Florida, you already have this!)

I'm playing this for the first time tonight! I want to be a TTRPG-er(?) so bad because I feel like I'm supposed to be but I'm way too shy to get into it, so we'll see what happens.

5. People trying to memorialize and find ways to keep in touch in the wake of Cohost becoming read-only on October 1st and archived by the end of 2024

Cohost was one of my favorite social media sites and I'm really sad to see it go. I felt less worried about what I posted/what I'd interact with and the UI made me feel calm. Scrambling to another social media is no fun, but I love seeing people try to be intentional about where they go next and how they hope others will follow (or at least keep them in mind).

6. Game Devs of Color Expo 2024 and Aldercone Studio

I'm going to talk about the expo in more depth within the next week, but I want to shout out my co-presenter, Xolotl who is a part of Aldercone Studio. 97% of the reason I felt safe enough to even ask for help in the way I needed it was because I kept remembering what they said in our talk, It's AWESOME to be Cripplepunk: "begging really is fine!" Their declaration of this statement, with no follow-ups or anything that could lessen its impact helped me push shame away long enough to ask for help.

7. Neocities

I missed the create your own website phase as a pre-teen and so I'm glad I get a chance to try now! Except I am like terrible at this. I can't decide on themes and I want all my stuff up there now and I'm reading code like line by line kind of obsessively and it's good. I like that I have a place where I have to stop and actually think about what I'm putting out there, if I have the ability to do it in the way I envision, and what steps I need to take if I decide I still want to do it. Knowing that these sites can be forever work in progresses takes a lot of pressure off of me knowing if what I want at this moment is what I'll want in the next. It's cool.

8. The Loyal Pin



Yes, I'm one of those gays. Don't even LOOK at me, I'm obsessed that their government is really paying for this show.

(If y'all got the hookup to Uranus 2324 please help ya boi out like I WILL get out the Thai/English dictionary I just need this)

9. Puzzmo

I love Puzzmo! I do their crossword every day and it's been a comforting little routine to have. I'm always gonna hype these people up because they published my crossword when I left Autostraddle and they were incredibly kind and helpful. 

10. The Vince Staples Show



I was unexpectedly sick yesterday and tried to watch something to take my mind off of it. I'd been wanting to watch for a while because I LOVE Vince Staples and I'm really glad I did. It's six episodes, about half an hour each, and highkey what I wanted to feel when I tried to watch Atlanta back in the day. It's been renewed for another season so go check it out and then come talk to me about it!

Okay, until next week! Be well, take care of each other, and destroy systems that threaten to destroy you!